Am I going Mad?

My heart pacing, my legs carry me, pacing around the room as my mind races
‘Am I going mad?’
He kneels before me, not his life at my mercy but should I so choose he’d be dead to me
Why must my hand be at his throat, why do I stand atop a hangman’s gallows
Judge, Jury and Executioner, but also the sole member of the audience too
The blade forced into my hand, by yours truly. I made my bed and now I must lie in it.
I wish I had someone in a big fancy chair with a pen and paper to ask me how this makes me feel
Bloody complicated! That's how it feels
Obviously I could make this easy, tighten the noose, swing the axe, make him walk the plank
But I have to do it, no one else for the only person who’s still affected by the crimes is yours truly,
On the flipside, mercy is easier than casting my judgement,
but turning the other cheek is a good way to get slapped twice.
So I ask again
‘Am I going mad?

Written by: Ben Davies

Genre: Free Form Performance Poetry 

Word Count: 187

Inspiration: Poetry written for class task inspired by frustrations about an important person in my life and the complicated feelings involved with dealing with them